| Location | Cwmbran ( South Wales) |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 9/1998 |
| Date of Death | 9/1998 |
| Visitors | 931 since 11/01/2007 |
| Creator |
Courtney-louise,
28th september1998,
20 weeks gestation,
cwmbran,
When i found out i was pregnant with you i was so happy and shocked that i was going to be a mummy, because at the time i was working in butlin's that's were i met your daddy. So as soon as i found out i left there and returned home to my mum's your nannie's house. Then made an appointment at the doctors for the next week who then made an appointment at the hospital for the next week as i was not sure how far pregnant i was. When i went for the dating scan they said that you was ok and tha you were already 12 weeks gestation. So i had another scan at 15 weeks and everything looked fine.So i had to have some blood tests done at 18weeks for downs and spina bifits i was two weeks late having them but didnt think that there would be anything wrong as the morning sickness had stopped and all i had was these head aches but thought nothing of it.
Then on the thursday as i was in the kitchen at my mums making welsh cakes when my mum said the midwife is coming here i didnt think anything of it , you were moving around alot inside me , so when she came into the kitchen to talk to me she said you know the blood test we did for downs and spina bifita i said yes well they have come back really high and we think that your baby has died,we would like you to have an emergancy scan at the hospital tonight at 8pm , i said but she's moving now. i just knew you were a little girl .so i told my mum and step dad so then my mum phoned my nan and she came down and i cried for hours , how could this happen to me . So we went to the hospital and went in quite quick and i lead on the bed and looked at the screan hoping it wasnt true, the doctor took her time and then said im sorry it is spina bifita the name for this sort is called anencephaly, witch meant that you had no brain only the brain stem as long as you stayed in me you would live, but you would not have survied birth, it would have taken it out of you. As i was you life sopport marchine as long as you stayed in me you would live. But then the doctor said that you had stopped growing at 17 weeks but your heart was beating fast and strong.
So the doctor gave me some scan photos of you and she would give me a few days to think things over and decide what i was going to do.
When i got home mum phone my mam and then phone your daddy it took a day or two to get hold of him as he was still working at butlin's, but as soon as he found out he came home and we had a talk about what we were going to do and the best thing that we came up with was to have you earliy . so nanny rang the hospital and said what we were going to do so on the friday we went to the hospital and i had to take three pills to stop your little heart from beating it took me a long time to take them as i didnt wont that to happen but i knew it was best for you hun, Then on the sunday you didnt move around the time you normally did and i knew you had gone so on the monday we went to the hospital and had another scan done and they said yes you had died that just broke my heart , so they put up a drip and put some drugs init to get me started, they gave me a spinal so i wouldnt be in so much pain, my mum , auntie julie and ben your dady were there all night as they said that it would happen so quickly but it didnt, So my nan came down and mum and auntie julie went home to have a shower and a nap, then at 4pm i said to my nan some thing is happening as i could feel a bit of pressure and by 4.25 pm you were born. At first i didnt want to see you as i was upset and tired, then the nexted day i said i would see you and you were really beautful and i couldn't say much but why me, why did this have to happen to me , this isnt fair.
You had to go for a postmortom and we had a funrial in october i cant remember the date. but it was a nice sunny day and you had a lovely service and daddy had done a tape that was play in the chaple of rest then we went to the place where you would be laid to rest it was so cold there , everyone was there who could be there.
I MISS YOU EVERYDAY AND YOUR WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART
AND YOU ARE NEVER FAR FROM MY THOUGHTS,
BIG HUGS AND KISSES
LOVE
MUMMMY and you little sisters rosie louise and lilie jayne and your little brother luca who is also up in heaven in god garden with you .
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A massive hug to your mummy!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
R.I.P Angel xx
For your precious angel
Such a sad story, just wanted to send you some love and a big hug for angel Courtney. I'm sure she's beautiful and having fun now with her little brother.
Lots of love
Louise. xxxx
for courtneys mummy
i wrote this for my angel jazmin and thought i'd lend it to you!
Dear Mummy
I know you didn’t want me to go
You wanted me to stay and grow
I know you didn’t want me to leave
And because I did, now you must grieve.
If only you could see it here, then you would understand
When I left you there that day the angels took my hand
I didn’t want to go with them, but instead to stay with you
I tried to tell the angels that I wanted daddy too
They led me up to heaven, and showed me through the door
They showed me this fantastic place I had never dreamed before
The skies are filled with sunshine, not a drop of rain
The air is filled with laughter, no suffering or pain
There is no fear of bullying, any violence or crime
We have no war or poverty here, we are happy all the time
The angels are loving and giving, no harsh words ever said
I even grew some angel wings and have a cloud to lay my head
I wanted to say thank you for loving me enough
To send me here to be an angel I know it must be tough
You didn’t let me suffer for any length of time
Now in the arms of other angels I will be just fine
Although you cannot see me now I haven’t gone too far
When you look into the night I am the brightest star
I’ll be here waiting until one day when
You join me in heaven and we’ll be together again
lots of love
toni xxx
A heart of gold stopped beating,
two shining eyes at rest,
God broke our hearts to prove,
He only takes the best.
God knows you had to leave us,
but you did not go alone,
for part of us went with you,
the day He took you home.
To some you are forgotten,
to others just part of the past,
but to us who loved and lost you,
the memory will always last.
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